JENNIFER LAWRENCE NEVER DISSED MERYL STREEP

As a seasoned homosexual, I’m upset with the New York Times’ Alessandra Stanley for not recognizing that Jennifer Lawrence saying, “I beat Meryl,” in her Golden Globes acceptance speech was a diss against Meryl. In fact, she was simply quoting the “The First Wives Club.”

“It wasn’t the first time she’s flouted awards-show etiquette: At the Golden Globes, she began her acceptance speech by dissing Meryl Streep. (Mr. MacFarlane referred to the gaffe in a joke, saying that he heard Ms. Lawrence say that win or lose, “it’s just an honor that Meryl Streep wasn’t nominated.”) It could be a rebellious streak in her, but mostly it’s a reminder of how young and unworldly some stars are, despite all the coaching, minders and Dior gowns.”

(I apologize for the video, some other seasoned homosexual with poor digital video experience decided to actually film the scene rather than upload it)

Thank you, I will now return to the land of people who get irrationally angry over things that do not matter.

Mind Dump - December 5th, 2012

When people comment on my bald head, assuming that I’ve shaved it, I correct them. As soon as they hear the word “chemo” they have an incredible “deer caught in headlights” moment. It’s a similar look to when a kid is told that instead of a tooth fairy, it’s really just your Dad sneaking into your room in the middle of the night. I, personally, was very glad when I learned that my Dad was actually the tooth fairy. For years I thought the tooth fairy was a middle aged hairy man who wore ill fitting white briefs.

MIND DUMP - December 5th, 2012

- Don’t do meth. Like seriously folks. Or else you’ll end up looking like a Johnny Depp character.

- The last Chinese President’s wife had a guy killed while the new one covered up his son’s death. Prime examples of leaders with strong family family values!

- Reagan and Obama would agree on raising taxes for the richest Americans, this guys shows us how (though he really should change his shirt if anybody is to take him seriously). 

- This and this are still making my day (and will continue to do so for many days to come!).

- Brad Pitt on the New York Times, “All the news that’s fit to… fit to…. why am I here?”

- Fox News is scaling back Karl Rove’s air time. I would love to see what he’s stress eating.

- I’ll drink to that. Oh wait, I can’t afford it.

- Senate Democrats love Bob Dole and his pen, while most Republicans think he’s a gimp and was not afraid to say it to his face.

- Netflix is going to stream Disney movies. Finally, I don’t have to feel ashamed of buying the DVD’s in person!

- I’m beginning to like Mitt Romney. I’ll love him if he releases a sex tape titled “Sexy Times at Costco with Ann.”

- Oh, and before you Instagram that sandwich you’re eating, watch this…