What I Took Away from Cloud Atlas

Something tells me Julia Roberts is no longer just a girl, standing in front of Hugh Grant, asking him to love her. (Notting Hill)

“Uh, sorry Halle Berry, but I did that look in The Legend of Bagger Vance, thanks!” Charlize Theron

Life really is a box of chocolates, right Tom? (Forrest Gump)

Gay people used to be very destructive with their good China.

Hollywood has a sad history of white artists performing in blackface. Coming in 2013, I suspect Asian face will be the next big thing (I dunno what’s worse, this or the bagel forehead thing?).

Even way into the future, Susan Sarandon still gives off that “Safe Space”-Tree Hugging- liberal vibe. God bless her!

Regardless of how Halle Berry is reincarnated, she will always look like this. Always.

Cloud Atlas is not your conventional movie, there’s no way it could be. Just like the epic David Mitchell novel it’s based on, it has left people for years asking themselves, “Why did I just read that?”

The official “explanation” for the film is, “An exploration of how the actions of individual lives impact one another in the past, present and future, as one soul is shaped from a killer into a hero, and an act of kindness ripples across centuries to inspire a revolution”

After seeing the film, that should probably read, “An exploration of Tom Hanks and Halle Berry looking out of place and using bad accents in picturesque locations as they awkwardly jump through past, present and future on a topsy-turvy journey with their very good friends Hugh Grant, Jim Broadbent, and Susan Sarandon playing dress up.”

Is it worth it to see it? Oh sure! It’s healthy to think about your past lives and how they have impacted your current, and future lives. But I’m biased, I’ve always been a big fan of Shirley MacLaine, who has a thing or two to say about past lives! Speaking of, they could have saved a ton of money and just had Shirley MacLaine talk to the camera for three hours!